According to recent research published in Evolution and Human Behavior, individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience less jealousy than those in monogamous relationships. However, feeling less desirable compared to a partner remains a source of stress in both types of relationships.
Understanding Mate Value Discrepancy
The study introduces the concept of mate value discrepancy (MVD), which pertains to the perceived gap in attractiveness, intelligence, or success between partners. In monogamous relationships, a significant difference in perceived value can cause tension or insecurity. The study aimed to assess if this dynamic also exists within non-exclusive arrangements like polyamory or open relationships.
Methodology
The researchers surveyed 512 individuals from 62 countries, including 312 in monogamous relationships and 200 in consensually non-monogamous ones. Participants responded to questions about themselves and up to two romantic partners, discussing self-perceived partner value and their strategies for managing jealousy and conflict. Established psychological measures helped track mate value, conflict management, and relationship maintenance behaviors.
Findings on Relationship Strain
In both relationship types, individuals who perceived themselves as more replaceable than their main partner reported more conflicts and rivalry with others. This finding aligns with prior research on monogamous couples. Feeling less desirable can lead to relationship insecurity, often resulting in jealousy and attempts to control the partner.
In non-monogamous relationships, dynamics with secondary partners showed a reverse pattern. Insecurity and conflict arose when individuals felt more desirable than their secondary partners, which is the opposite of the primary partner dynamic.
Impact of Communication and Hierarchies
Participants in non-monogamous relationships experienced lower levels of jealousy, mate guarding, and rivalry than those in monogamous relationships. However, the key factor in reducing relationship issues in both groups was communication. Open discussions about attraction and jealousy, especially celebrating a partner’s connection with another, helped reduce tension. Conversely, ranking partners in a hierarchy often exacerbated jealousy, rivalry, resentment, and mate guarding.
The researchers highlight that non-monogamy does not inherently eliminate jealousy. Individuals in consensually non-monogamous relationships react similarly to those in monogamous settings regarding feeling less desirable. Nonetheless, this work offers insight for counselors and educators assisting people in diverse relationship structures, traditionally focusing on monogamous connections, to address relationship challenges.