When my friend introduced me to his daughter Lilly, the encounter was pleasant. However, a 4-year-old addressing me, a 67-year-old, by my first name rather than ‘Mr. Alperson’ highlighted a growing concern. Many children today show a lack of respect for the older generation. This trend appears to be worsening and poses significant challenges.
The National Center for Education Statistics revealed a troubling rise in student discipline issues between 2009-10 and 2019-20. Verbal abuse of teachers increased from 5% to 10%, while acts of disrespect toward teachers rose from 9% to 15%. Further research published in Science Advances in 2019 reported that people generally believe children today are less respectful to elders. Those valuing authority especially felt this decline. Older survey participants often believed respect for elders is diminishing among youngsters.
Disturbingly, the American Psychological Association reported that between 2019 and 2023, 57% of teachers experienced at least one incident of physical violence during the school year. Addressing these issues requires a change in parenting approaches.
Importance of Discipline
While love is crucial, discipline is equally vital. A child not taught to respect elders may face difficulties in life situations such as employment or interacting with authority figures. Parents should prioritize long-term respect over temporary resentment for enforcing proper conduct.
Dennis Prager, in his commentary on the Bible’s Torah, emphasizes the commandment to honor parents rather than to love them. This distinction acknowledges potential challenges in these relationships but enforces the need for respect. The Ten Commandments require children to honor their parents, implying that parents, too, must deserve respect. Children emulate their parents, so adults must model the behavior they wish to see.
Communication and Respect
Language affects self-respect and attitudes toward others. Profanity and casual slang lower behavioral standards, as does addressing adults by first names. An encounter with Lilly and experiences with other children reinforce this point. Using first names for authority figures dilutes the inherent respect they command.
In past decades, students stood when teachers entered classrooms, a tradition largely abandoned today. Yet, respecting educators helps them guide children effectively. Parents support this respect by valuing feedback from teachers, even if critical. Defending a child too vigorously can deny them crucial constructive criticism necessary for growth.
Social Interactions
Children should learn not to interrupt adult conversations. Allowing interruptions signals that adult discourse is insignificant. Young individuals should recognize the wisdom adults acquire through life’s experiences. Adults contend with significant life challenges—be it loss, financial struggles, or health issues—that children have yet to understand.
Adults serve as guides for younger generations. Children learning from respectful interactions gain insights into avoiding common mistakes. When children respect their elders, they grasp invaluable life lessons that love alone cannot impart.
Demanding respect may seem stern, yet it prepares children for a productive future. Respect instills the attributes necessary for a fulfilling life.
Joel Alperson serves as the Chief Business Officer of NeuralRegen, a pharmaceutical firm aiding Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s patients. He contributes as an editor for Dennis Prager’s The Rational Bible, a commentary on the Torah. Alperson, with his wife Conny, is the parent of four 8-year-olds.