A recent survey by Pew Research Center highlights a growing trend among childless adults in the U.S., revealing many do not expect to ever have children. Individuals cite reasons such as medical issues or financial considerations, while others simply express a lack of desire. Navigating this choice can lead to unsolicited comments or questions.
Angela L. Harris, a clinical psychologist and founder of #NoBibsBurpsBottles, an online community supporting child-free Black women, understands this experience. Harris emphasizes the importance of recognizing that you owe no explanations to others. She advocates for asserting your choice unapologetically, stating, “Your life is your life.” She shares insights on building a fulfilling child-free life in a Life Kit episode.
Harris often addresses curiosity about her choice. She sees open dialogue as key to reducing stigma. Her approach varies from honest discussions to light-hearted responses, aiming to use levity in interactions when possible.
“I explain my choice all the time, especially if someone’s curious about it,” Harris notes, highlighting the dual nature of sincere and joking replies.
These conversations can be particularly challenging with parents or partners. Harris suggests waiting until you feel prepared to discuss your decision with family. She advises, “At some point, when you are comfortable, sit down with your family and express your plans not to have children. Ask them to respect your choice.”
Regarding partners, Harris believes in open communication without pressure or manipulation. Decisions should reflect mutual respect, and the conversation should be centered around understanding each other’s choices.
Your input is valuable. If you are child-free by choice, share your experiences in handling unsolicited questions and comments. Email [email protected] with “Child-free” in the subject line, along with your response and details by May 3. Selected insights may be featured on NPR.org.
For more, listen to Life Kit hosted by Marielle Segarra, produced by Clare Marie Schneider, and edited by Meghan Keane, with digital adaptation by Beck Harlan and edits by Danielle Nett.