Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a summary of last night’s comedic highlights that keep you entertained and us employed. The previous night was filled with laughs from popular comedians recapping current events and lighthearted moments.
Celebrating America’s 250th Anniversary
On Wednesday, President Trump held a rally to mark America’s 250th celebration, though musical guests dropped out. Jimmy Fallon from ‘The Tonight Show’ commented, “It’s the first event where B.Y.O.B. means ‘bring your own band’.” The rally included a military flyover with Lee Greenwood singing ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ and a speech by Trump. Fallon remarked, “Even Trump’s biggest fans were like, ‘Is this a repeat?'”
The rally also kicked off the Great American State Fair on the National Mall, which runs for 16 days. Fallon humorously noted the various food stalls, saying, “There’s funnel cake, there’s corn dogs, turkey legs and lots of other foods found during Trump’s colonoscopy.” He continued to describe the fair’s attractions: “The fair has everything. There’s even a dunk tank with JD Vance and a drunk tank with Kash Patel,” and added, “There’s something for everyone,” mentioning its 110-foot Ferris wheel and an antique carousel, joking that Marco Rubio isn’t tall enough to ride them.
Further, Fallon quipped about the goldfish prizes at the fair, suggesting, “If you win a goldfish, I’m pretty sure I know where they got the water from.”
World Cup Highlights
Jimmy Fallon also touched upon the U.S.’s upcoming match against Turkey in the World Cup. Despite the match being insignificant for both teams, fans brought humorous signs. One read, “Who is this for?” and another suggested, “Just for fun, every player should be able to use their hands.” Fallon highlighted, “This next one says, ‘This is almost as pointless as painting the reflecting pool,'” and added, “If I wanted to see expired turkey, I’d go to Subway.”
On a lighter note, Greg Gutfeld referenced a Brooklyn escort service charging high rates for World Cup players, humorously linking it to the game, “Because it takes them two hours to score.” Additionally, Josh Johnson joked about T.S.A. restrictions around ranch dressing, saying, “Come on, T.S.A., do you really need to be so strict about this? No one’s going to blow up a plane with a bottle of ranch. The bathroom, maybe, but not the plane.”