Cutting off family members is becoming increasingly common. Experts are examining the reasons for this trend. A 2025 survey by YouGov revealed that 38% of U.S. adults are estranged from at least one family member, including siblings, parents, children, or grandparents.
Dr. Richard L. Blake, a British psychologist and author based in Austin, Texas, has identified five key factors contributing to family estrangement based on his research.
Political and Value Differences
A study involving more than 2,000 mother-adult child relationships found “value dissimilarity” was a strong predictor of estrangement. Differing beliefs, including political ideologies, play a significant role in family divisions. Blake highlighted that individuals are often more willing to sever ties over differing opinions than serious crimes.
Social Media Influence
Heavy social media usage has been linked to poor parent-child relationships. A study of nearly 9,800 teens showed that more than two hours of social media daily increased the likelihood of negative relationships with parents. Blake noted that social media may normalize estrangement by promoting “no contact” stories and triggering mimicry. Although no definitive long-term studies exist, the lack of evidence doesn’t imply absence.
Blake noted a shift from “dignity culture” to “victim culture.” This leads individuals to claim victim status, such as suggesting parental abuse, to justify estrangement.
‘Therapy Culture’
Blake addressed “therapy culture,” which influences perceptions of parental relationships. Changing views on trauma and abuse make some believe estrangement protects mental health. Yet, family bonds are crucial for mental well-being. Blake cited a Minnesota study of adopted twins showing twins resembled their biological parents more than their adoptive parents.
A 2024 study led by German sociologist Karsten Hank found that adults estranged from family members reported lower life satisfaction and more depression. Blake warned against believing social media claims that cutting ties improves mental health.
Communication Breakdowns
Communication style during conflicts can lead to lasting estrangement. Blake emphasized the importance of listening, akin to “hostage negotiation”—listening, understanding, and validating the other person before responding.
Moralized language complicates compromise. Blake advised parents to request descriptions of behaviors labeled as “toxic” to focus on facts. Using “I” statements and avoiding words like “always” and “never” is recommended.
Outside Influences
External influences, including romantic partners and evolving parenting philosophies, affect family estrangement. Romantic partners may play a larger role for men. Public figures like Brooklyn Beckham and Prince Harry illustrate how partners influence family dynamics.
Conflicting parenting philosophies can also strain relationships. According to Blake, differences between adult children and grandparents about raising children may create tensions. He suggested that learning from older generations might be more beneficial than from therapists.