Dear Carolyn,
My mom and stepdad are divorcing in their mid-60s. The disagreement centers on finances related to retirement. Their separation has been fraught with tension. My stepdad has made arrangements for a peaceful retirement by a river, close to family. On the other hand, my mom is keen on moving to a larger city. Her plan is to maintain an active social life and continue working.
I reside at a distance from both of them. Despite this, I have a strong desire for my son to maintain relationships with both his grandparents. However, my mom now seems to depend more heavily on me for financial support, especially for travel, to keep connected.
While I want to help, the costs are beginning to strain our family’s finances. I find myself caught between supporting her and managing our household budget. Finding a balance is becoming increasingly challenging, and I am unsure how to address this with her.
Maintaining relationships within the family is important, yet I need to establish boundaries that safeguard our financial health. I seek advice on how to handle this delicate situation without causing further distress in our familial relationships.