Parents frequently worry about their children’s ability to handle life’s challenges. However, resilience is not something that develops instantly. A study published in Health Affairs in 2019 indicates that children are more likely to thrive with strong support systems and positive family relationships.
Manhattan-based psychotherapist Katie Rose shared insights on how parents can nurture resilience in children. Her advice includes four key strategies:
Limit Your Child’s Choices
Providing children with too much responsibility too early can overwhelm them. Rose emphasizes that resilient children gradually develop confidence in problem-solving.
“Resilient children develop confidence in their ability to solve problems over time,” she said.
Suggestions from Rose:
- For ages 0-6, minimize choices related to toys, clothes, and activities to build trust in caregivers.
- Between ages 6-12, offer limited options and support careful decision-making.
- For teens, act as a consultant, guiding them while allowing more autonomy in their choices.
- Increase responsibility as children gain confidence and decision-making skills.
Protect and Revere Childhood
Rose notes that children develop resilience when they feel safe, fostering curiosity, creativity, emotional regulation, and healthy risk-taking.
“Children develop resilience when they feel fundamentally safe,” she said.
Rose’s guidelines include:
- Shelter children from adult concerns, constant news exposure, and issues beyond their developmental level.
- Communicate honestly, clearly, and appropriately for their age.
- Listen more and avoid excessive explanations, keeping in mind the acronym WAIT: “Why Am I Talking?”
- Reduce overscheduled routines and limit extracurricular activities.
- Ensure time for rest, boredom, and unstructured play.
Connect Before You Correct
A supportive environment helps children manage emotions and view setbacks as growth opportunities.
“We want our children to learn that difficult emotions are manageable, mistakes are repairable, and setbacks are part of growth,” Rose said.
Her recommendations:
- Create a safe home environment where children feel secure enough to take risks.
- Acknowledge children’s emotions before offering corrections.
- Focus on ensuring children feel understood during challenging moments.
- Wait until emotions settle before providing guidance or feedback.
Model Healthy Coping
Children learn resilience through observing adults handling challenges responsibly.
“Children learn far more from what we model than what we tell them,” Rose said.
Actions to consider:
- Ask open-ended questions like “What do you think we could do next?” rather than offering immediate solutions.
- Praise effort, persistence, and learning rather than just the outcome.
- Show healthy stress management techniques, such as deep breathing and problem-solving.
- Demonstrate that mistakes can be acknowledged and repaired, including apologizing when necessary.
- Exhibit flexibility and self-compassion in tough situations.
For further information on the story, contact the editors at Newsweek: Charlotte Nisbet and Emma Lee-Sang.